


Crazy Spoons and Crazy Immortal Idiots

by UnstableAngel



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crazy Spoons (card game), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, I only learned about this in college so I still think it's pretty great, Inspired by my friends and I + weaponry, M/M, Team Bonding time, angst over Andy's mortality, whoops, yes I ignored my asthma long enough to wrestle the spoon away from my very concerned friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnstableAngel/pseuds/UnstableAngel
Summary: In which the immortal fam plays the crazy version of spoons.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Crazy Spoons and Crazy Immortal Idiots

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Nightmare Club](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26163523) by [redjacket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redjacket/pseuds/redjacket). 



"Ok," Nicky says, laying down the spoons on the round table in front of him. 

"So this game is spoons with a flair ... You know spoons right, Nile?" 

Nile slowly nods her head. "But why does everyone have their blades?" She, of course, means the labrys leaning beside Andy's chair, the scimitar across Joe's lap, Nicky's gun, and Booker's knife jacket.

"That's the flair part," says Andy, eyes glinting with mischief. "She can learn as we play. Bets in." The men shrug then throw in bills of various currencies.

Nile is decidedly concerned but she lets it go as Booker deals and then begins the game. Everything is normal - she's on high alert as she would normally be for regular spoons and there isn't a lot she can do about the crazy part quite yet - until Joe picks up a spoon and _FLINGS_ one to the other side of the room. She's frozen in her seat as Booker and Andy vault over their seats.

She stays that way as Joe drops a second spoon into her open hands and opens his lidded container of m&m's. Nicky turns to Joe and then looks annoyed when Joe throws the other in the opposite direction of the boxing match. "Sorry my heart," Joe shrugs, "I had to give Nile a fighting chance to win, but I'm only helping you because I love you." He turns back to where Andy and Booker are wrestling and continues to pop candy in his mouth.

Andy emerges victorious when she throws Booker into where Nicky is bending to pick up the last spoon. Booker manages to curl himself around Nicky's spoon quickly enough that Nicky is out. "Andyyy," Nicky whines, but the woman in question looks unapologetic.

Booker is dealing this time, and thankfully Nile gets her hand first. She isn't quite confident enough to encourage the craziness, so she just quietly grabs a spoon. Booker winks at her and throws them for her.

Andy thrusts her hand into Booker's jacket for a knife as she follows Joe to the spoon. Booker looks unperturbed.

Andy and Joe pounce, because there is no other word, on the spoon at the same time. They manage to drag each other a good 3 feet from where they started. At some point, Andy smashes the knife hilt first into Joe's face and he spits blood to the side as he moves to headbutt her. Joe manages to wrangle the knife away from her, and Nile can see what's about to happen as he raises the knife and stabs it into her thigh.

Again, she's frozen, but so are Nicky, Booker, and Joe as they realize what he's done.

Andy groans loudly and the spell is broken, they all start scrambling, Nicky calling for an ambulance while Nile and Booker look for something to staunch the bleeding. Joe is freaking out and alternates between cursing, pleading, and berating her. Nile turns back to them just in time to see Andy's eyes glint like they had before the game started.

Andy grabs the spoon grasped limply in Joe's hand and cackles.

She pouts when they take it away from her in the ambulance.


End file.
